as the hot water steamed off my body. Bliss. The calm before the storm. Blink. Her body wash. On my shower rack. She hadn’t been here in a… oh, let’s say a very long time. Yet here I was, day after day, week after week, showering here with the months…

Every friend you hold dear to your heart, will disappear one day — through your death or theirs, and you can only hope, that your experiences were rich enough, to bring back a fleeting smile through the tears. There will be a long hurt, and a sorrow in your heart, as…

In my life and times, I have felt, the hunger that desperation brings and the insane, miracle making, competitive energy it gives, I have felt, hard times and grueling days where the work keeps on punishing your back, but my defiant spirit grows stronger, I have felt, jobs where it became a matter of survival, jobs where…

they gnaw at you conversations with the people from the past repeating over and over and over seconds over and over and over the decades your fourth grade teacher, your lover, your wife your mum, your uncle your grandfather you your friends a random stranger a rejection stealing candy from the counter at a 7/11 when you’re 5 and feeling guilty cheating for the first…

Over time, the memory has faded, yet there’s a girl in this image, crystallized within bright light-amber, Swaying with the breeze in a floral dress at our local park. The sunshine beams all around and behind her, as she flashes her all alluring, destructive smile at me and I smile back that charming ass, dope sick grin at…

Down a grimy back alley, where junkies pissed & drank, stood a young black crow, cawing in the wind. It knew of nothing, but the sweat of fear & and the blood of violence, As men, filled with cheap pomp and bravado, stood each other with fists tensed, Picking the fight, for the…

At the bottom of it, there’s no light; only darkness. It’s a wretched place. Nobody escapes the gap. Eventually, we will all fall in. Some leap willingly. With mad dreams of making it to the other side, where more suckers for the gap await — what were they thinking? Bravado like a Japanese fighter pilot…

You have an affliction. A real sadness fucking you up. The big one. And you remind yourself, One day at a time. Just like the junkie and alcoholic do, without any of the heroics they receive for getting clean, or even relapsing. No. When you wrestle with black dog, you’ll get scorn & derision, from the surrounding…

Whatever the old camera captures of me, shows a photograph of a lie. That is not me. Not all of me; just a shade. Sometimes it’s my highest self, full of virtue, could lead a nation of invalids up the Himalayas, other times, you’d be embarrassed to know him. For all my charm, they must either…